Family and Parent Coaching: Talking War
Today is Internation Mental Health Awareness Day. There is also a lot of uncertainty around the globe today, with Hamas inciting fear, to say the least, with their invasion, and slaughter of, women, children, and peaceful festival attendees last weekend.
Coaching clients have been asking today, “How do I speak to my child about war, how do I address, as a parent, the atrocities that are going on around the globe? How to I put on a brave face when I am scared?”
My own social media feed is full of connections with first-hand experience living through this nightmare. And, the mourning of beautiful souls killed last weekend, without mercy.
Back to the topic at hand: how do parents talk to their children about war?
First, celebrate the fact that you are researching this topic in the first place. For real, good job. It shows you care about setting your children up for success in this crazy world. It shows your are interested in learning and development. It shows you are looking for connection.
So to answer this question bluntly: it depends.
That is, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to any human interaction. As a parent, the best we can do is work to show up as the best version of ourselves each day.
So, first things first, just because you are anxious about the war (and, likely, other adult things as well) don’t overtalk. Be aware of your body language. Acknowledge the big emotions. Ask questions. Listen for answers.
Back to my vague answer to “how do I talk to my children about the war?”
My “it depends” reply is really around who your audience is. Could your young child be overhearing what you and another adult are talking about? Do you have the television on in the background of your life (and it seems every network is covering the story)?
For young children, assure them that they are ok. Keep their routine, children are comforted by it. You just might be as well.
Leave space. Sometimes the quiet moments give our brains the opportunity to make connections we can articulate later. Your child’s young mind might want to go back to the Lego set, but in that quiet space, connections in the brain are being made, and questions are being formed. My point? Leave space and be on your toes for questions when you’re least expecting them later on!
For school-aged children, be open. Tell them you don’t have the all the answers, but you are your children’s advocate. Tell them your connection to the story, what’s on your mind. Make a connection and make space for your child to reply to your thoughts, and communicate their own. Show them how to check their sources. Make time, be available. Ask questions. Listen for answers.
For anyone, in any place, during this stressful time, please take care of yourself. Remember the adage to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others.
In stressful times, and good times!, coaching can help, click HERE to connect live and learn more.
