What is a narcissist?
Let’s talk about narcissism
You might have heard the word, but are left still wondering, what does it mean to be a narcissist?
The adjective, “narcissistic” comes from the Greek mythological figure, Narcissus, the son god who fell in love with his own reflection in the waters of a spring.
The Mayo Clinic defines narcissistic personality disorder (“NPD”) as a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance.
Perhaps the first words that comes to mind about a narcissist individual are self-involved, lacking empathy, believing rules don’t apply in his or her own circumstance. In other words, the inability (or unwillingness?) to recognize other people’s feelings or seemingly play by the rules. Sound like anyone you know?
Likely the person you’re thinking about has positive qualities too. You might even be having your own moment of self-reflection; most people exhibit narcissist qualities from time to time. The problem arises when the person’s lack of empathy and feeling of superiority affect his or her ability to function and/or engage with others.
EverydayHealth.com explains, “grandiose narcissism is associated with displays of superiority, entitlement, and extraverted behavior. Vulnerable narcissism also involves self-absorbed behavior, but it is associated with self-consciousness, insecurity, and introversion.”
What causes narcissism?
The cause of NPD is unclear, but potential factors include environmental conditions, like receiving excessive praise, or criticism, as a child, genetic factors, or neurobiological challenges.
While a diagnosis of NPD comes from a psychiatrist, there are no lab tests to formally make the call. Psychiatrists will typically perform an in-depth psychological evaluation utilizing the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders,” published by the American Psychiatric Association.
What are the signs of narcissistic personality disorder?
Use the acronym “SPECIAL ME” to remember the nine signs of NPD:
Sense of self-importance
Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success
Entitled
Can only be around people who are important or special
Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain
Arrogant
Lack empathy
Must be admired
Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them
Can a narcissist love someone?
While it is often easy to paint people with NPD as self-involved to a fault, narcissists are still humans with a range of emotions. This includes love, but it is usually conditional, meaning it is contingent on certain actions or circumstances, or based on the fantasy image of perfection the narcissist pins on another. Often when the initial, glamourous stage of the relationship has run it’s course, the narcissist will find undue faults and physically or emotionally abandon his or her partner.
Have you ever frustratedly felt, “the goal post keeps getting moved”? That sums up a relationship with a narcissist.
How can I disengage from a narcissist?
You are not alone. If you have been struggling for some time, perhaps engaging with a relationship coach can help. A coach's certification, professional experience, and network, are all components in evaluating your partnership. Coaching is an investment in what's most important to you, and those you love.
Invest in you. Coaching can help.
